EDITOR’S NOTE: In and effort to entertain the newsroom, another photographer and I (who are now required to work from home) have begun exchanging letters from the frontline of the Coronavirus Pandemic. I share them with you so that you may feel the love.
My Dearest Mr. Daquano,
Apologies for the tardiness of my daily missive. General News is relentless.
With the loss of Pvt. Slappy, he has demoted me to daily reporting. Real news! With actual deadlines! And a 90-second time limit!
I fear my reputation as the Feature Guy may be in jeopardy.
Daily news is an ugly business, much like the work of Captain Crank. Business from which your delicate eyes should always be protected.
Today, I found myself surrounded by women in masks and gloves. Never have I been so unnerved since my last colonoscopy. They, however, were gentle creatures helping treat victims of the cruel contagion that has separated us.
I hope the good General is kinder to you.
I long to hear more of your adventures with the loquacious Ms. Kitch. She seems to know many big words that assuredly challenge your comprehension daily.
Thank you for the thoughtful gift. Until I can embrace you again, I shall sleep soundly with my arms wrapped around your smelly wife-beater.
With warmest regards,
Sgt. T Polisher
1st News Division