EDITOR’S NOTE: In and effort to entertain the newsroom, another photographer and I (who are now required to work from home) have begun exchanging letters from the frontline of the Coronavirus Pandemic. I share them with you so that you may feel the love.
My Dearest Mr. Daquano,
We have lost a good man. . . Well, we have lost a man.
Private Slappy is no more.
No! This vile infection did not take him. He is too simple for something like that. His wife has birthed his offspring — a scary though in itself — but in this time of uncertainty and toilet paper scarcity, a truly heroic feat. . . on her part, anyway. The private had little to do with any of it after conception.
So, we are a man down at Forward Operating Base Frat House. Captain Crank has assigned me to Boot Duhe for the remainder of this unfortunate situation.
He is pleasant enough, though a tad too happy for my liking. But I guess that goes with being young in his craft. A few days with me, and I am sure he will sour.
If that were not enough, the General has assigned me reporting duties. Keep your eyes peeled. Though you cannot see me in person, you may soon see me on your glowing flat-screen.
Sgt, T. Polisher
1st News Division